5 Things to Say to Loved Ones Before You Die
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Have you heard of the Ho'oponopono Prayer?
Ho'oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian method of apology and forgiveness.
For centuries, it has been used to course correct, move forward, and bring any relationship into a current state (where nothing is left unsaid).
The four steps in ho'oponopono are remorse, forgiveness, gratitude and love.
The ho'oponopono prayer can be said in person (including voice or video calls), via distance (including letters & meditation), and even communicated to your loved ones after death.
Soulfull Departures recommends using the ho'oponopono prayer as a journaling exercise to invite ourselves to learn, unpack, and heal from our regrets, especially for those of us who are coping with grief and loss.
The Top 5 Regrets
You may know the old saying, "No one ever dies wishing they spent more time at the office", but what you may not know is what the top 5 wishes of the dying are.
Even more importantly, did you know that these top 5 regrets are mirrored by the dying's loved ones?
Wishes, Hopes, Dreams & Issues:
Imagine you are preparing to visit a loved one who is dying...
How would you finish the following sentences?
I wish they knew that...
I hope they know that...
I don't know if they know how much...
I never got to tell them...
Here are the top regrets as answered by those who are imminently dying and those who were left behind:
I wish they knew that... I'm sorry
I hope they know that... I forgive them
I don't know if they know how much... I love them
I never got to tell them that... I'm grateful for them
They left without... saying goodbye
Regret is mostly caused by not having done anything - Charles Bukowski
Not all relationship problems can be solved
Sometimes, it doesn't matter how much you talk the issues out. It seems as though you've hit a wall of disagreement, disrespect, untruths, harm, and conflict. It might feel like there's no coming back.
The goal of these 5 sentences is not to solve your relationship problems but instead to bring them into a 'current' state.
What it means to have a 'current' status in your relationship is that there is nothing left to be learned from your past decisions, nothing left to unpack from your past actions, and nothing left to be said from your past communications to bring the relationship to a close.
Openly expressing remorse, offering forgiveness, communicating gratitude, conveying love, and most importantly, saying goodbye can do much for your own healing journey by inviting peace to replace regret.
Irrespective of any relationship status, it is important to know that these 5 sentiments are vital to include in your legacy conversations so that your loved ones aren't left with regrets after you die.
It's now up to you... pick a day, a time, a place or even just the right meditation spot so you can lay to rest any regret that may be plaguing you.
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